


Where Do we Go?

by Loki_ate_my_pudding



Series: Stefan is cute (Colin agrees) Colin is cute (Colin disagrees) [1]
Category: Black Mirror: Bandersnatch (2018)
Genre: Cute Colin, Cute Stefan, Happy Ending, Obsessive Behavior, Possessive Behavior, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-19 17:11:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17605481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loki_ate_my_pudding/pseuds/Loki_ate_my_pudding
Summary: Colin is a uni student with no cares, and Stefan throws himself head-first into the world of studying for his finals, until Colin finds himself pulling Stefan out. It was a good system, until Stefan's father didn't think it was.





	Where Do we Go?

Stefan was not a stupid kid. 

He was very smart, actually. He tried his hardest in school, and did well at his spare coding class that he paid an extra few pounds to take. His father had always expressed his pride for his son’s excellence in school, not that Stefan cared much. 

He wasn’t a very interesting kid, not before, and especially not after he was put on the anti-psychosis medicine after his first two appointments at Dr. Haynes office. At first, he believed they were wrong. He was fine, just a little sad, and he felt like nothing he did was ever what he really wanted to do, but he did it anyway. Then, he came to terms that this was his new life. 

He was stupid, however, when in his junior year, he met Colin Ritman, a senior with a promising future in creating some of the most revolutionary video games Stefan would ever see. The senior and junior met in their coding class, Colin instantly sparking Stefan’s interest. 

It snowballed from there, Colin inviting Stefan over almost every weekend to show him progress on his hobby of game creating, and proving Stefan right about the revolutionary games. And from the constant hanging out, came close friendship from two very strange boys that would’ve never really seemed to fit. 

Colin was very stern, and it used to actually frighten Stefan. His vocabulary was much different than other high school students around them, and the way he always came to school on Monday with stubble, like he’d been too far gone doing something busying all weekend too shave, made Stefan endlessly curious about Colin’s life outside of coding class. 

Stefan, though, was shy and quiet. He always had been. Especially after they’d put him on his medicine, he only ever really talked to his dad. Even then, he wished he was silent. Talking to his dad just made him angry. 

The two had become insanely close, the best friend Stefan had ever had, the type he dreamed about having. Someone who spent all their free time with him, and shared common interests. It turned into an every weekend thing, dodging between Colin’s house and Stefan’s, though Colin’s house was definitely more of a hit. 

Stefan came to Colin’s graduation, cheering on his best friend with a wide smile, and part of him wondered if Colin was going to leave him now. If the now graduated kid, who’d been accepted to every Uni he’d applied to, would tell Stefan that he couldn’t hold up the friendship anymore as he left to do his important work at a new college in a new town away from everything he’d built with Stefan. 

Part of Stefan didn’t mind, because he knew Colin was destined for great things, and letting him go would allow him to d those things. It would be okay, but at the same time, it hurt him knowing he could lose the only friend he’d ever had. 

“I’ll see you soon, Stefan.” Colin had said, holding his bag by Stefan’s front door one night. 

“Are you going to Uni, Colin?” He blurted, blushing a bit after the words left his mouth. “It’s just that- you got accepted everywhere you applied and I know you have a lot to accomplish-“ 

“I am, but I’m going to community my first year. Here. Until you can graduate. Wherever I want to go, surely they’ll accept you too, Stefan. Goodnight, now.” He said, and with that, he left.

Stefan never really believed that someone would base their life partially around him, and when Colin told him his plans, Stefan almost cried. But there was still the year left of highschool while Colin survived through college. 

They talked, often, and by the time Christmas break for Stefan rolled around, they found themselves in the inevitable budding relationship, starting simply and turning into the only thing Stefan really lived for, aside from making his games. 

They were happy, then finals week crept up on them, and Stefan went into his own mode of ‘do nothing but study.’

The younger teen was hardly sleeping, he was hardly eating, his hands had a consistent shake to them from the amount of tea and energy drinks he’d been downing on the daily. No matter how many times Colin urged him to relax and take a day off, he insisted that he couldn’t. 

Part of Stefan knew it was because he couldn’t really control it. He knew he needed the routine, and any “break” in it would just send him flying out of the loop he’d worked hard to get in. 

Colin, however, couldn’t help but worry about his boyfriend’s anxiety over the tests. He worried about a lot of things when it boiled down to Stefan. He was a teenager, technically 18 and old enough to hold his own, but he didn’t. He never really tried, actually. It was like he preferred the life of people doing things for him, making decisions for him. It was okay by Colin as long as Stefan was happy, but the teen never really seemed like he was. 

He could tell when Stefan was sad, or in an off mood, even if Stefan didn’t show it. He was closed off, but Colin was too. It was a good dynamic they both didn’t mind. Stefan just didn’t often seem like he was genuinely happy. 

Colin could’ve sworn he’d only seen it a few times, their first hang out session after the awkwardness of being somewhere New was one. So was their first “date” when they were friends, eating subs after school and avoiding going home, and their first actual date which was probably the happiest Colin had seen Stefan - next to the day he asked him to be his boyfriend.

“Stefan, you need to eat something.” Colin said, laying on the teenager’s bed while he scribbled down notes on his study guide. He shook his head, eyes focused solely on the notebook infront of him. He sighed, sitting up on the bed and watching Stefan for a few more seconds. “Please?” 

“‘M busy, Col, maybe after this sheet. I have a lot more to do.” He mumbled, cutting himself off every so often in his sentence to focus on what he was writing. This was where Colin’s worry for the younger teen got worse, when he was too worried about work to take care of himself, too focused to notice his surroundings. He probably didn’t even notice when Colin came in to his room. 

“Stefan.” Colin said, the stern voice that made Stefan shiver coming back. He rarely used that voice since they’d started dating. He’d turned into a softer version of the hardass Colin Ritman everyone else knew, only little glimpses of the old Colin shining through every now and then. “I’m going to go make you something to eat.” 

Stefan did look up then, a small exasperated noise leaving his lips. “Colin, I’m trying to work on this.” 

“Yeah? And I’m trying to feed my boyfriend, who’s been refusing food for probably a day or two by now, love.” Colin replied, slipping out of Stefan’s room and going down the stairs in the dreary home towards the kitchen. Stefan’s father’s ashtray sat by the sink, as if begging Colin to light up a quickie before he went back to his boyfriend.

He did, the Rollie hanging between his lips, licked by the small flame as Colin let out a puff of smoke. He hunted down the ingredients for something simple to give to Stefan, small, but filling enough to give him the energy he needed, that wouldn’t come from a synthetic drink in the fridge.

He ashed the cigarette, pulling a loaf of bread out of the cupboard to make Stefan a couple sandwiches. It seemed good enough, and probably more than Stefan had thought about making himself, but nothing was ever enough to Stefan’s father. 

“A sandwich?” His deep voice startled Colin, making him drop his cigarette in the ashtray. He looked up at the taller man with wide eyes behind his large glasses. 

“For Stefan. He hasn’t been eating, too worried about his finals.” He replied, carefully reaching for his cigarette and putting it back between his lips. “I figured I could at least try to get him to eat something.” 

“Think there’s a few more things he should be eating than just a sandwich, yeah?” He said, raising his eyebrows at Colin. 

He stayed silent as he finished up making Stefan’s food, grabbing a bottle of water for him as well. “Yeah, well at least I’m trying to feed him.” He put his cigarette out and left the kitchen, back up the stairs to Stefan’s room. 

He knew better than to be disrespectful to an adult like that, but he’d never really liked Stefan’s dad. He was always a mean man, very picky and rude. 

Colin opened the door, stepping in with the sandwiches in one hand and water in the other. “Come on, Stef, time to take a break.” He said, sitting on the bed. Stefan shook his head again. 

“I told you I’m busy, three more questions.” 

“Three more questions can wait, Stefan, you need to eat. Come here.” He said again, patting the space next to him. “‘M serious, Stef.” 

Stefan grumbled something and tossed down his pen, moving in a weird was to get to the bed. He sat next to Colin, back hunched over like it was stuck. He took one of the sandwiches. 

“Looks like your back hurts.” Colin noted, watching while Stefan ate his food. 

“Does.” Stefan replied around a mouth full of food. He’d never admit it to Colin, but he was so relieved that he was there, pulling him away from the constant work. The sandwich was simple, but it was like heaven to Stefan as he quickly finished it. “It’s sore. I’m always stuck in the position trying to work.” 

Colin nodded a bit, pushing the other sandwich to Stefan. “Maybe you should give it a rest, love. I bet I could get at least five good cracks out of your back it’s so stiff. You’re going to pass with flying colors, Stefan, you’re smart as fuck and you know it.” 

He shrugged a bit, looking at Colin now. The worry etched into the older boy’s features. “It’s fine.” 

“I’m worried about you, Stefan.” Colin said honestly, with the honey voice back that made Stefan melt into a puddle. He watched as Colin ran a hand through his bleached hair, sighing. "I'm really worried. You're not eating, you're not sleeping, all you're doing is studying, and I love that you're trying your hardest because you want to do good, Stef, but I'm worried that you're gonna end up getting hurt. What if you pass out because you haven't been eating? What if you do when you're out, and someone steals all your shit- just, Christ, Stefan, please." 

Stefan was sure he'd never heard Colin this way before. Sure he'd been sappy once or twice, but he'd never begged anyone for anything, not like he sat in front of Stefan and begged him to be okay and to just take a break. It made him shiver, thinking that Colin could be right, just because Colin was always right. He was Colin Ritman, of course he was right. He was Colin Ritman, a tough guy who didn't give a damn about anything, who'd never begged or pleaded for anything in his life, until this moment. He cared about Stefan, he begged for Stefan, he pleaded him. 

"I'm sorry, Colin." He let himself break, the three questions long forgotten. "I just wanted to good- I wanted to make sure colleges would accept me, and we could go where we wanted, Col. I'm sorry." 

"It's okay, Stefan, just please rest. Just for a while, the rest of tonight. I'll stay, and we can eat whatever because I know you're still hungry, and we can just relax, because you need it." Colin said, his hand on Stefan's sore back comfortingly. Stefan nodded, leaning into the heat of Colin's body. 

Then came another routine for Stefan to settle into, comforting more than any other. He'd study when he came home, eat dinner with Colin, then let Colin lead him into their bed at nine, so he could sleep enough to be properly rested without energy drinks in the morning. Stefan lived for the new routine, finally giving in and seeing how right Colin was, once again. Every day it was Colin and Stefan from the moment Stefan got out of school, because Colin was out way before he was. 

Their system was fine, until it wasn't. 

Stefan's father had always had a rough time accepting Colin as a part of Stefan's life. He was so used to Stefan with no friends, spending all his time away in his room, that it was almost comforting he didn't have to worry about the friends or what his son was doing. It wasn't fine by him, when Colin started coming by in his junior year, smoking the gross rollies that he wouldn't even dare lift to his chapped lips. 

He's started to mind Colin's presence in Stefan's life more after the outburst. 

"Stefan, can we talk? Downstairs, please." He said, his voice rough, breaking through the silence in Stefan's room, Colin on his son's bed with an apple, and his son at the desk with his studying material. Stefan nodded a bit and eyed Colin, slipping from his room and following his dad down the stairs. 

"I hope you know, that I'm doing this out of your best interest, Stefan." He said with a firm frown set in place. "I don't want you to be seeing Colin anymore." 

"Wh-what?" Stefan sputtered out, surprised by his father's words. 

"He's a bad influence on you, and he's always around, or you're always with him. It's possessive, it's controlling, and it's not a safe relationship for you to be in, Stefan. You must understand that. I don't want him in the house anymore, and you're not to go to his, either." He finished, looking at his son with a stern look, ignoring or not noticing the tears beginning to well in his son's eyes. Stefan shook his head. 

"You can't do this!" He cried, his voice breaking a bit as the words left his lips. His father shook his head, almost like he was mocking Stefan. 

"Yes, I can, and I will. Don't make a scene now, Stefan, or I'll have to call Dr. Haynes." He said, and Stefan instantly froze. He hated being threatened with the idea of going back to therapy. He'd been doing so well, so, so well now that Colin had come into his life, it was almost like he never even had to go to therapy to begin with. He was satisfied with his pills, everything was fine. 

He turned, rushing up the stairs towards his room, slamming the door behind him as he felt the tears spill from his eyes. He was 18, an adult, old enough to care for hismelf, but because he'd put 'Care for Stefan' on everyone else's to-do-list, he'd been stuck, unable to make the words come out "I can make my own decisions, dad'', but they died in his throat. 

Colin stared at him, a little shocked that he'd rushed into the room like that, but instantly sat up when he noticed the tears on Stefan's face. "Oh, Stef, what's happened?" 

"Dad says we can't see each other anymore-" Stefan broke, letting out a small sob as he sat by Colin on his bed. "And I can't not see you, Col! You-I-" 

"You're 18 now, Stefan," Colin soothed, hand on his boyfriend's shoulder, rubbing it comfortingly. "You decide. This is your choice, Stef. It's time we stop making them for you." 

"You. It's always been you." Stefan whispered, wiping his tears off his face. 

"Alright then, Stef. Let's pack." 

And if Stefan passed his finals once he'd moved in with Colin and become more sane than ever before, no one really needed to know. 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry the end seems rushed !!! I might think about doing an epilogue to this, where they start uni and Colin comes up with ways to de-stress Stefan?? Let me know please! I hope you all enjoyed!


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